One of the most useful tidbits I picked up from grief counseling was a simple insight from evolutionary psychology. Througout history, it was perfectly ordinary to lose half your children. We are built to endure this. It’s not exactly a pleasant thought, but a necessary one. Being reminded of it helped.
I recall turning on the TV and being repelled by some loud, violent show. I turned the channel to a PBS station where they were showing what appeared to be a comfortably bland documentary about Goethe. And then I got blindsided. Just like that, he lost four out of his five children. Time to turn the channel again.
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